What the Hell Is This? A small update
I’m still working on the final shape of What the Hell Is This? The dates are not fixed yet, and the structure is still being refined. I don’t want to rush it, because this one needs to be right.
This is not another spiritual workshop. That isn’t a marketing line; it’s the basic point. I’m not interested in putting together another nice Zoom event where we all use familiar spiritual language and feel slightly better for a few days. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is not what this is.
This workshop is concerned with something sharper, simpler, and more unsettling.
The question is: What the hell is this?
Not as a philosophical question or a clever title, but as an actual inquiry.
This room.
This sound.
This body.
This mood.
This pressure in the chest.
This thought.
This sense of being someone, somewhere, dealing with something.
What is it actually?
Most of us live inside an interpretation so complete that we mistake it for reality. We don’t merely see colour, light, texture, movement, sound, sensation, mood, and thought. We see: my room, my body, my life, my problem, my past, my future, my spiritual progress, my failure to make progress.
The interpretation arrives so quickly that it feels like the world. And then we suffer inside it. Not because we are doing something wrong, but because nobody ever taught us to look at the difference between what is actually here and what the mind says is here.
That is the centre of this workshop. A way of looking. Not a doctrine, a belief system, a special state, or a new spiritual identity. Just a way of looking that exposes the difference between actuality and interpretation, and lets the strange fullness of ordinary experience begin to show itself.
That’s the work. That’s the flavour. And I’m still shaping the best way to deliver it.
So far, around 50 people have registered interest in receiving the final details when they are ready. That tells me something is alive here. Not necessarily for everyone. Probably not for everyone. And that’s fine. I’m not trying to persuade people into this. There’s no point. If this isn’t for you, it isn’t for you.
But if the question itself has some charge for you, if something in you recognises the need to look more directly and more honestly at what is already here, then this may be worth staying close to.
While the workshop is taking shape, I’m going to send a few private field notes to the people who have registered interest. These won’t be public Substack posts or polished articles. They’ll be more like working fragments from inside the inquiry itself: short pieces, provocations, and simple experiments exploring the difference between what is actually here and what the mind says is here.
The first one will probably begin with something very ordinary. A room. A wall. A body sitting in a chair. And the question: Is this actually what I think it is?
That is where this begins. Not in some elevated spiritual state, not in silence, bliss, or a refined inner space.
Here. With this ordinary room. This ordinary body. This ordinary moment. This ordinary, impossible, ungraspable fact of experience.
If you have already registered interest, you don’t need to do anything. I’ll send the field notes to you as they come together.
If you haven’t registered yet and would like to receive the final workshop details, along with these private field notes, you can add your name here:
No commitment. No pressure. Just a way of staying close to the inquiry while it takes shape.
What the hell is this?
That’s the whole thing, really.